I would be interested in feedback from anyone familiar with biocognitive theory about how we wrap love around one of the three archeypal wounds and then seek that in future relationships, and particularly how we each love Self wrapped with the archetypal wound. Analogies or examples welcome...

Love wrapped around abandonment manifests itself by feeling like we didn't deserve love, if we'd done more we wouldn't have been abandoned; love must be earned. In relationships the abandoned becomes the rescuer/caretaker in the character of the knight in shining armor rescuing the damsel in distress or" saving the Bad Boy." again trying to earn love that should be freely given. When you put yourself in that position you're taking a parental role rather than a partner role which intimates that your partner is incapable of taking care of themselves. Initially they may relish the attention with the rescue, eventually they will resent the feeling that you make them feel inadequate.

Thanks, Driftwould. Using your example, if an individual wraps love around abandonment, then they are going to seek people who will abandon them. So in the case of the Damsel or the Bad Boy, will those two "types" inherently be abandoners because of their own challenges/destructiveness, or because they will eventually resent the rescuer? I would also add that in addition to abandonment, those with the wound of shame might also try to "earn" love by "performing" so well that they are above reproach/shame. Dr. Martinez says that the only unconditional love is that of a parent for a child - would you agree?